Women in the Business Arena™ EP82: How Do We Better Manage Our Energy so We Don’t Experience Burnout?
“You cannot operate a successful sustainable business if you don't know how to manage your energy. It is inevitable that you will burn out, that you will die of exhaustion, that your business will fail because of it.”
This week on the Women in the Business Arena podcast, we’re talking about our energy flow. In our modern culture, “busy” and “exhausted” are the norm for entrepreneurs. Is it necessary, though? Do we have to be running ourselves into the ground to have a successful business and life? We don’t believe it has the be this way. That is why it is so important to learn how to properly manage our energy.
“What happens, in general, is that we push ourselves in those low energy times, and then we crash. Then it's days or weeks before we're up again. People don't realize in a business that the momentum you lose by exhausting yourself is not worth it.”
Your level of energy is unique to you. Which means, being successful is not about finding more energy, or pushing through exhaustion, but about being a good steward of the energy that you have. In order to do this, it is important to gain personal knowledge of your own rhythm and cycle of energy, and then craft a business that is in alignment with this flow.
Instead of going until you crash, and then being forced to take a long period of time because of illness or burnout, give yourself small bits of time, energy snacks, to refuel. Take the time to care for yourself, so your energy lasts longer, and you can be more effective in all areas of your life.
“We're so often trying to go out and be responsible for others, hold others, fix others, do all these things that are not ours to do. Then some people start to contemplate, maybe I'm in the wrong business. It's not that they're in the wrong business, it's actually that they're just mismanaging their energy. If they were more present without being responsible for somebody else, they would not be drained by the end of the day.”
One of the major culprits of our exhaustion is our tendency to over deliver, and take way too much ownership of our responsibility to the people in our lives - clients, family, friends, etc. To be sustainable, we have to learn how to hold space for others. At times it can feel like a constant struggle to navigate holding space for clients, without taking on their energy. Listen in to hear more about what this looks like, and to learn useful tips to take ownership of your own energy. You don’t have to live life exhausted or run a business to the point of burning out.
Some Topics we talk about in this episode:
- Introduction - 0:55
- Developing Awareness of Our Unique, Individual Energy - 4:55
- Exhaustion Cycles - 16:48
- The Patterns that Are Draining Your Energy - 23:52
- Practical Tips for Energy Management - 34:10
- Wrap-up and Takeaways - 37:59
How to get involved
- Join the Women in the Business Arena Group on Facebook and continue the discussion starting next week! https://www.facebook.com/groups/womeninthebusinessarena
- Reach out to us - we’d love to hear more about where you’re at in life and business! Find out more at www.womeninthebusinessarena.com
If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review on iTunes. It would mean the world to hear your feedback and we’d love for you to help us spread the word! If you would like to subscribe via email, click here.
FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE SHOW
Sonya Stattmann: 00:55 Hi, and welcome to the Women in the Business Arena podcast. I'm your host Sonya Stattmann, and as always I'm here with my beautiful co-host, Laura Shook Guzman. Hey Laura.
Laura Shook G: 01:05 Hello. Hello. How's it going?
Sonya Stattmann: 01:08 It's going well and I'm quite excited about our topic today. We're actually going to dive into a little bit more. We've talked about this on a few episodes, but I think it is a subject that I constantly get asked about and I am teaching my clients a lot about, and I think it's just something we can't talk enough about really. And that's how do we better manage our energy. Because I think as women we are exhausting our energy and then we're struggling to get back on top of it and that we're exhausting our energy and then we're struggling to get back on top of it. And it's really hard to operate a business and family and our lives and our wellbeing when we don't know how to better manage our energy.
Laura Shook G: 01:46 Yes, it is such an important topic and one that I find people are hungry to discuss. I think people are aware. They're aware of their fatigue. They're aware of their exhausted, but we're not quite sure what we do with it. Or we have been conditioned to believe that it's so normal that that's why we wear it as a badge, like the busy badge and the, "I'm fine and oh my gosh, but I'm so busy it's just I'm exhausted." It's become sort of the cultural norm to just talk about how exhausted we are. But do we really want that? Is it what we need to be doing? And how can we look at our energy management in a different way? I think this is always a good topic and one that we can take from different angles every time we talk about it.
Sonya Stattmann: 02:39 Yeah, I agree. And I think that it's something we have to learn to practice and to manage and to work within a business. You cannot operate a successful sustainable business if you don't know how to manage your energy. It is inevitable that you will burn out, that you will die of exhaustion, that your business will fail because of it. This is such an important topic. And not very many people are really discussing it. You see more wellness practitioners or health people discussing it, but very few business people are discussing that importance of energy management. And I think because the masculine paradigm has been so used as the scale for business. It's like push yourself, go, go, go drain yourself of all things, but get it done, check it off your list, accomplishment, accomplishment, accomplishment. And we're finding for women, this doesn't work.
Laura Shook G: 03:29 Yeah. And we come with all the different roles. We've been taking care of people in our lives, whether it's our children or our aging parents or people around us. And so many women leave the C-suite thinking that they're leaving those long hours to launch their own business and it'll be just easier because they don't have a boss or some sort of external structure demanding those hours of them. But, what people don't realize is that they created habits, like habitual patterns to that you create in certain environments. And even though you might not have enjoyed it, you go and you launch your own business. If you're not mindful and conscious about how you're going to spend your time, then you can recreate that. In our whole startup culture, we're just killing it. All the language that you hear in the entrepreneurial world, it is a message of just push through, keep doing it. And women often feel that they're just somehow inadequate. Instead of questioning the actual time and hours in that culture of push, push, push. We think it's personal. We personalize it. We start thinking it's a flaw within our own time management. We started picking up more time management books. Oh, I just need to schedule better and I just need to do this. And I think it is a different issue.
Sonya Stattmann: 04:55 And I think that's another thing in general, we're always looking for tactics and what can we add on and what are strategies? But sometimes it's about awareness. I think so few people are really aware of their own personal energy and how it flows and because it's different for everyone. Some people have really high levels of energy. Some people have low levels of energy. Some people are more extroverted. Some people are more introverted. Some people get their energy from different things. Some people have things in their lives that take a huge amount of capacity, so then they have low capacity for business. I think it's all different for each individual. One of the things I find is so important, is that we actually have to become aware of our personal energy and how it flows. And, oftentimes I talk about, no matter what, everyone has sort of a small ebb and flow in their energy. We have, especially as women, we have downtimes, maybe when we're on our period or different things are happening, we'll have these downtimes or energy is just naturally low. Then we have a little bit of time where energy is naturally and we go through these cycles that are ebbs and flows. But what I think people don't realize is that if you're managing that well then it's like a minor ebb and flow. But because most of us are not managing it well, we have major ebb and flows, so it's like we, we go up, up, up, push, push, push, push, push, and then crash way down, instead of being able to have more of a minor ebb and flow.
Laura Shook G: 06:21 Yes. Yes, and two things that I think of: One is the value of time in nature. This is one of the reasons why when you ask people how do they start to reset or how and when did they start to feel better? It's because they say they go on walks or spend time in nature. And this is something I remind my clients all the time. It's because nature knows that rhythm. It has the ebb and the flow of expansion and contraction and it just naturally occurs. You know, like the ocean. We don't have the ability to stop that ebb and the flow. The ocean pools the way that the moon has this way of pulling in and interacting, but it's just constantly expanding and moving and changing and we don't really follow those natural rhythms. We use our force and our will to interrupt rhythms, to push when we should be sleeping, to keep going when we should be stopping, and then we collapse, like you said. We have just really high highs and very low lows. And the other second thing that you made me think of is the personal knowledge of our own rhythm. Understanding everyone's going to be different. Everyone's energy management has yes, the expansion and contraction, because we all have nervous systems that operate in that way. But everyone's going to kind of have their unique way that they flow, like what works, what doesn't work if they're an early person and an early bird or a late night owl. And one of the challenges is that we take, I think an external model for what business looks like. This is what it means to be an entrepreneur. This is what it's gonna be like, these are my hours, this is what I'm going to have to do. And they don't actually stop and think about, and I know you talked about this all the time, Sonya, so your clients probably do have that fortunate advice from you, but craft a business that's actually in alignment with your energy flow as you begin a business. You think about it like, what does it need? How does that fit with me and who am I going to have to hire maybe to do some of those things that don't fit with my natural rhythm? Just really thinking of it in that way.
Sonya Stattmann: 08:41 Yeah. And I think it's like an ongoing practice because, we change as we're running our businesses, our kid's needs change, our family's needs change. And I think it's always this thing we should be evaluating. I know that the way that I can manage my energy even three years ago is not the way that I can really manage it now. And as we grow and shift and change as beings, we need to be aware of how is our energy also shifting and what does that mean for our business? How do we design it to fit more of who we are and to work with our energy. And so I'm always sort of changing my schedules. I'm always noticing when my energy is off. Why have I been getting so much more exhausted lately? And then I have to sit down and kind of look at how can I redo my business, how can I sort of structure it definitely, just make little tweaks in my schedule even. Or am I doing something that is triggering some of that lack of management. Like I'm not paying attention, I'm staying up too late, I'm not taking care of myself, I'm not eating or maybe I'm still feeling responsible for people and therefore I'm giving too much of my energy. So I think it really comes down to this awareness of first, where is our natural ebb and flow, because if we don't have a baseline, it's really hard to know when we go off of that baseline. So, what's our natural flow? Like some days I'm naturally tired, some days I'm sort of naturally like, yes, let's go out and get stuff done. How can I better follow that flow? I think this is such a really important thing that not enough business owners sit and really
Laura Shook G: 10:17 contemplate. Yes and so true. It's going to change. We've both been in business for over a decade. You longer than me, and it's gonna be like that where you have to look, will did I just have a baby? Okay, so business is going to be a little bit different right now. All the different things that come. Or you have a health crisis, something happens and you're not as healthy as you were and your body needs extra care and you need extra nourishment. And something that I talk about with my clients all the time, because most of my clients right now are entrepreneurs, and yet usually they present with their business challenges and some sort of health challenge. Like that's what I'm noticing a lot. It's like a health issue is coming up and I used to be able to push through it and I was running my business and then now I'm angry at my body because it's a training me. And, actually, it's just time. It's time because you've been pushing and pushing all this through all this time and now your body needs you to listen in. I try to help break it down of the energy that it takes to hold on to unprocessed emotion is like carrying an extra ball and chain around with you. It's like you're carrying a 10 pound weight, like you're going to the gym all the time, but not because you're really not flexing muscles and you're not even building resilient. You're just carrying that extra weight in. Your body's working that much harder and people don't understand because they can't see it. And it's not something that they're often conscious about, that emotional hurt or loss or grief that you haven't had a chance to resolve because it happened right when you launched your business or postpartum depression that happened after your baby was born, but you really didn't have a chance to fully process that because you had to go on and do your business. There's only so long we can go with that emotional weight before it's time to look at that and your body is usually the one that is the whistleblower.
Sonya Stattmann: 12:29 Yeah, and it's so interesting because I think we also have to look at two things as well that I think are really important. One is, like you said, we have a lot of sort of emotional baggage. Even physical baggage, maybe it's our health or body, things we haven't taken care of over the years, and so we have all this sort of baggage that we've carried that hasn't yet been integrated. But partly because we keep putting it on the shelf, oh well, I'll deal with that next month, next year once I'm not so busy. Once my kids are grown, all this stuff we kind of put on the shelf. That's one thing, but I think the other thing that I also want to look at is how are we operating on a day-to-day basis. Because if we're allowing more space, if we're allowing more flow, if we're managing our energy properly, then we allow for the integration as things come up and we stop storing so much stuff by putting it on the shelf over and over again. I think we don't talk enough about that. It's always like, okay, later, okay, later. And I know for myself and maybe you might relate as well, Laura. I burnt my adrenals out. I burnt my life out. One of the reasons I'm so passionate about helping women create sustainable businesses, helping them get the most return on effort, helping them simplify, helping them with self-care is because I burned the hell out of myself in the last two decades. Like, I pushed my adrenals and my body to the absolute max and it no longer is holding me in the way that it used to. I mean, I can do one tiny thing and my body goes completely out of whack. Whereas before, I could push for months and months and months. A lot of women are in that space where they're pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, and they're not finding an effective way to manage on a day to day basis.
Laura Shook G: 14:07 Yeah, that's a good point. So, it is the emotional past, things that might've been there that you've just continued to put on the shelf and then there's the day-to-day stressors and new events that are happening in your life. And if you're not learning how to integrate and how to sit with, that's something that you'll hear people say more often in wellness right now is learning how to sit with discomfort and be with the sense of groundlessness and uncertainty that is the essence of life. And that once we learn to sit with things, we realize, oh wait, it didn't completely overwhelm me. It was uncomfortable. I didn't necessarily enjoy that feeling, but now I'm on the other side of it. Like I can kind of feel that it shifted. I stayed with it long enough to know that nothing does stay, which means negative emotions also change. The fact that life is not something constant, that means your negative emotions are not constant. Like in a moment you're going to see something that's going to make you smile, or you're going to feel something and that feels like love. And I don't think that we in our culture, talk enough about that it's okay to feel pain. It's okay to sit with discomfort, that you're not going to somehow spiral into darkness by just allowing yourself to sit. And it doesn't really surprise me when you think about like this huge focus on self-help in the last couple of decades has been positive psychology, which I love. There are so many really great things that have come out of that movement, but one of the shadow sides of that is that people feel like they always have to be then positive, always positive. And it's like, where's your room for just being sad and just feeling not okay.
Sonya Stattmann: 16:07 Yeah, and I can't tell you how many women come into the program with me as well and they've got that positiveness. I'm just trying to be positive, affirmations, all of these things. And then I'm like, actually, that is sabotaging your success and they don't get it. They take some time to have to work through that. And I'm like, I actually want you to feel the pain underneath. I want you to feel the discomfort when something comes, don't resist it. I want you just to be with it. And there's been so much transformation that happens in that process. But we're so trained, there's so much resistance to pain and I know I feel that as well, like I'll get a body ache or pain and unlike, oh, I just want to feel good. I just wanted everything to flow. I just want to go to get my stuff done. And so I think there's that initial resistance and it's a practice. Like I have to tell myself, okay, it's okay. Just slow down, just be with it. It's okay to rest, it's okay to move with it. I think that's the challenge is that we're resisting things. So I talk a lot about, there are some different people that I've worked with who struggle with their menstrual cycles for example. And I think instead of resisting every time it comes and resisting the pain, resisting being tired and all of that, just stopped fighting it, just be with it, just let it whatever it is, it is, just let it be there. Just let yourself be there, minimize what you're doing in your business, minimize what you're doing in your life and just allow that ability to be with it and stop resisting it because it's so much energy to resist the things that come in our lives that aren't comfortable.
Laura Shook G: 17:44 Yeah, absolutely. And I've gotten lately where that first couple of days of my period, I give myself permission, I almost, I wouldn't go so far as to say I look forward to it, but I would say like I'm almost relieved when I have that acknowledgment of, oh, that's what's happening because I have compassion for it. Then like, oh wait, this is why, I am just going to feel really tired for the next couple of days, so let me just take some of the things off my plate. I'm giving myself more permission using that time to make the change, more so than I would just like in the middle of some random week. I'm actually letting that natural cycle in my body say, guess what, more massage, less on time and go to bed earlier if you can, just whatever, take a bath, just whatever that normally I might say, oh, I don't need to do that. I can do that later. I'm like, nope, nope. It's time my body says, because I'm on my period, I'm going to take extra care. And that's taken years. I mean I've been reading Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, like I read that in my twenties. I've been like trying to implement her teachings and that's Christine Northrup, like I've been trying to love my cycle for a long time. And I'm finally starting to do it. Finally!
Sonya Stattmann: 19:10 And I think that's it. None of this is something that everyone's going to be able to implement tomorrow. It's a practice. It's a deliberate practice. But I think if we can start to understand the importance of managing our energy and being more aware of the way we flow, and I think you can see it by that exhaustion cycle. That's I think we often don't sort of become aware or contemplate when we're feeling up. It's usually when we're exhausted or when our body's not working the way we want to or when we're just really tired or overwhelmed. Like that's when we start to say what the hell's going on? And I'm tired of this and I'm resisting this. I think that's where we become more aware that something's happening. And I think we have to look at that cycle of exhaustion because in a natural ebb and flow, you may have a couple of days where you just have lower energy and so then you just might cruise through it a little bit easier. Take a few things off your plate, minimize your time, you know, let yourself rest. But what happens in general is that we push past that or we push ourselves in those low energy times, and then we crashed and it's days or weeks before we're up again. And I think people don't realize in a business that momentum that you lose by exhausting yourself is not worth it. It takes so much time to get that momentum back. Whereas if you were just allowed yourself a nap the next day, you'd probably be back in your normal momentum.
Laura Shook G: 20:39 Yes! I was just having a conversation with a very busy entrepreneur about this and he was saying that he's just so essential to so many aspects of his business, so people depending on him. And he is, he's got like a lot of money, a lot of responsibility. And so he's carrying all of these roles and feeling like he's essential to them. So he's like, basically, I just keep going, keep going, doing everything that I can and eventually, my body will get so sick that I will have the flu. And he's like, that's when I rest. My body gets the flu and I surrender and then I'm sick. And he said, but the sad thing is that that's become my self-care. He was attending a self-care workshop that I was offering because he wanted to learn how do you do this differently. He had just been going and going until his body would literally shut down for several weeks and that would be his rest and then he'd have to get up. But like you said, that's such a hit to be completely out. And we don't have to take such long times off if, I mean, sometimes I'd love two-week vacations or four weeks whatever. But if we're watching that ebb and flow and we're doing small breaks. One of my yoga teachers called them yoga snacks, like when she needed her breaks. I think you could do that and think of energy and an energy snack is not necessarily that I'm going to go consume energy, but it's like, how am I going to take a little energy snack? What's going to give me energy? Is it five minutes of just staring out my window and drinking my tea and in zoning out, turning all things off, so no beeps, no notifications, and just watching the birds. Is it going to take a power nap? Is it listening to music you love or going outside and just sitting and feeling the breeze on your face. It doesn't have to be that we take these long breaks from work. We need these little mini pulses so that our day is more rhythmic versus that big power push. And then we're like trying to catch up and fuel lifestyles. That's so important.
Sonya Stattmann: 23:02 And I think a lot of the reasons why we feel like we need vacations as humans and we feel like we need two weeks off and time off is because there's no management of our energy. So we're so exhausted that we have to have a big break to recover and then we'd go right back into the same kind of operations. And so we're talking about a system overhaul. We're talking about an operational overhaul. It's about creating practices, it's about becoming more aware. And so part of it is becoming aware of your natural cycle and your natural ebb and flow, and that will be totally uniquely different for everyone. So don't compare yourself to someone else. Don't look at what they're doing. You use people as inspiration for ideas, but you really have to start to become aware of your own natural rhythm. But I think what we also have to look at is the patterns that we have that are draining us of energy. So there is the natural flow and where we sort of push past. And so some of that's what we've talked about already. But I think one of the other things we have to talk about is the ways, especially as women, that we over manage other people. We overdeliver. We over own our responsibility because this is what I have seen a lot of my clients. They're out there trying to energetically hold the world, are energetically trying to hold their clients, are energetically trying to hold their families and so all their energy is drained completely out of their body by trying to hold everything else. We need to talk about that. That is a huge part of why we're not managing our energy.
Laura Shook G: 24:38 Yes, I agree. It's the ways in which energy is just leaving, what we call energy leaks. And identifying those in your life is really important and one of the common ways for women to leak energy is being overly responsible, over-functioning. So one thing that I have started doing lately is asking myself, is this really mine to take, is it mine to take. With my kids, I'm having to do that with my teenage daughter because there's a lot that she still wants me to take on. I'm her mom and I'm used to her being younger. I'm like, oh wait, she's almost an adult now. She just turned 17. She can do these things for herself, but I was over-functioning and I still find myself when it's something I'm worried about, take care of that for her. So you do it in your personal relationships, you do it in business and just stopping for a moment and giving yourself, you talked about, space. Literally, mindfulness is a moment where before you react or do something, you just take a little space. The input comes in, you get the information, you pause and you just take little space and then you think about, well what do I want to do in this situation? And the question I'm asking is, is this mine? Is it mine to solve? Is it mine to fix? Is it an action I should be taking or should I just step back and breathe and own what's mine? And the more I'm doing that, the more that person or that situation, somebody else steps to the plate, and it's awesome because it probably was never really mine to begin with. And those of us that are leaders and go-getters, we are entrepreneurs, we like to jump in. And going all in has gotten us very far in our businesses, but going all in all the time is a practice that we should reflect on and pull back and just be like, hey, this isn't mind to jump into right now.
Sonya Stattmann: 26:47 And this is what I find is that so much of our mismanagement of energy is really about what we're over owning, what we're taking on, or what we're putting out. However you look at it, I think sometimes we take burdens on, sometimes we put our energy out trying to hold things. Really coming to understand where our boundary is, like, this is my body, this is my energy field. I can only do really what is empowered in that space. But we're so often trying to go out and be responsible for others, hold others in, fix others, do all these things and they're not ours. It's not our field. We can come to it with guidance, we can come to it with support, we can be present with someone. I was recently talking to a client who feels like she has to energetically hold everyone's emotions that she's working with and so she's exhausted after working with clients all day. Well, who wouldn't be? And so then I think some people start to contemplate maybe I'm in the wrong business. And it's not that they're in the wrong business, it's actually that they're just mismanaging their energy. And if they were more present without being responsible for or without having to hold somebody else, that in and of itself is such a gift and they would not be drained by the end of the day.
Laura Shook G: 28:07 Exactly, yes. It's not a sign that you're not fit for that particular role. It just means it's a role that the nuance of holding space means also being aware of where you stop and start, where you stop and they start. And being able to learn how to release. That was something I had to learn as a therapist is. In the beginning, I took it on and I would have to release it. Now I actually don't take it on as much anymore at all because I kind of feel it during a session I feel like coming and then I just breathe it out and hand it right back over. Just energetically, you just push it back over because you're doing an injustice to your client too if you take that on. Because they came to you to process it, to actually own it for themselves so that they can live with it. So if you keep taking it from them and holding it, then they're not getting to do the work.
Sonya Stattmann: 29:12 And to respond to what you're just saying too. I wish that there was sort of some of that training. I feel like I do some of that training with my clients, but I feel like there's not enough training for people who are in some of these care-giving positions, like therapists are more structured, they have more training. But you look at terms like coaches, consultants, wellness practitioners, like certain industries, like pretty much all the industries I work with, are care industries. We're supporting another person. They're going to have emotions that they hit and have to work through. You know, there's all these pieces, and yet we've never been taught how do we protect our boundaries, how do we protect their boundaries, how do we hold space without taking on the energy? Like all of this energy management is just something we've never even talked about.
Laura Shook G: 29:54 Because everything is always on the craft. Like learning how to do that modality, how to work on that person or how to coach them. And I lots of body workers that come through my practice and they're just like this was not quite cover. I mean, they touched on it, but there was not enough training and enough practice. And even most of my education around it came from my supervisors later when I was already in practice, more so than it came from like my actual coursework or professors. And I think that you're right, it's just an unspoken skill that's so important for all of us that are in service industries. And more and more women entrepreneurs are opening businesses every day that are in this line of care work and wellness work. Why not? This is what we know. We're relationship based. We're good at this, we've been doing it. Now we're finding ways of doing this for our careers. I think that piece is great that we're learning how to step into that skill and how to make a career from that. But maybe because it was in this personal sphere, we learned a lot about relationships through our family system or through just our close friendships. And then you get into these professional spaces and you have to understand that yes, maybe you could be the one that held all the emotions for your close friends and family, but now you're holding space for not only clients, but if you have an online business and presence, you're energetically trying to hold space for everyone on your Facebook group or everyone following your podcast. People forget the energetic streams that you're putting out there. I just had a conversation with a friend who was commenting on, she was observing this one person who had a more of a social Facebook, it wasn't a business related one, I believe, but she was getting exhausted by moderating the Facebook. She was taking everything so personally. So when people would have an issue there, she felt like she needed to resolve it. If people left the group, she felt like she'd done something wrong. And so I thought, oh wow, so how many women are doing that even in their business Facebook groups and taking on way more than they need to?
Sonya Stattmann: 32:08 Yes. Because if you're dealing with individuals, you are dealing with the topic of energy management, any way you slice it. You can be ignorant of it, you can be unaware of it, but if you're working with individuals of any kind, you are dealing with energy management. Even if you're in corporate, even if you've got coworkers, even if like the many, many facets and especially if you have clients. Because what happens with clients is we feel a responsibility. There's an exchange of value. They're paying us, we feel responsible for them. And if we've never really contemplated energy management or looked at what is the real value and where's the boundaries, then most people are overdelivering and over-functioning in order to be able to provide more and more and more value. And that's a value issue which we've talked about a few times before and we're not going to get into today. But I think this is such an important part of energy management.
Laura Shook G: 33:01 And women traditionally do find value or feel like we're giving value by being that caring person. That's what we've been rewarded for in our culture. We can get caught not realizing that we're out of balance in our own energy systems and then it starts just a cycle of exhaustion and then we find ourselves thinking it's us. Oh my goodness, I'm just not able to handle it. Like look at all those other women. They're fine, but we're not all fine and that's why Sonya and I are talking about this. We're not all fine, this is not okay. We all need more rest and we all need more space. And maybe starting to shift the paradigm on what does it mean to work sustainably and bringing that out and showing and being really excited to show maybe that you're doing your business differently in a way that sustains your energy levels. Making that a part of what you share with your clients about your work is that you're doing it differently, that you're doing it in a way that's much more sustainable.
Sonya Stattmann: 34:12 Exactly. We're going to wrap up here in a minute, but I think it would be really good, like some of the practical sides of this is it really is first about awareness. Like I know that sometimes people are like, oh, but give me the tactics and the strategies, but well, being aware is really the first step. It is the strategy. And so I think when you're aware of your energy, how it flows, where you get exhausted, even things you do in your business that you can feel the exhaustion as soon as you do them. That's an area to look at. And so the awareness piece is really important. And then really it's great to get support or help from someone like me or Laura, someone who could help you look at where your boundaries are, where you're not managing energy efficiency, what parts of your business are not working or what parts internally and your relationships aren't working, which is more like Laura's area. And I think you know that that's really helpful to get support. But even in your own self, it's about then setting some boundaries. Okay, I'm realizing that I'm exhausted all the time and so I just need to take a nap every day, so I mean something like that. Very simple. But starts to produce that ability to be like, okay, I just need more sleep, I need a little bit more energy or hey, I need a 30 minute break between all my clients that I'm seeing. Because I just need 30 minutes to just recharge, just like brush off that energy and prepare for the next client or oh my gosh, I realize draining myself because I'm holding on the energy of my clients. So it's just literally becoming aware and then setting some boundaries. That is some of the practical first steps. And then I would really seek out getting some support because sometimes we can't see our patterns or we can't see where we're draining energy. And we misdiagnosis it because we think, oh, I must just not like my job at all. I must just like my business at all because I'm just drained all the time. When there are just tiny little tweaks that could completely change that around.
Laura Shook G: 36:09 Yeah. And if people are kind of wondering how they can become more aware, just noticing your energy levels through the day, being curious and maybe having an energy journal. You could just kind of start by not having to change anything, but just jot down like noticing energy highs where you're good and running and then when you're low and maybe you're just your sleep patterns or how often you're eating when you're hungry. And I was being hungry and being able to eat is a sign that our parasympathetic nervous system is on, unless we're force eating because we're just going to eat. And then you start noticing, oh wait, I wasn't really hungry. So that was my sympathetic nervous system arousal was just still going. So there are things that you can do to kind of start observing with curiosity before you need to change anything. That's what I tell my clients all the time, like let's just start observing. We don't have to change it yet, but just start with watching, learning and then you'll start to see things that you didn't see before and you'll feel it when you didn't feel it before. Then you can start noticing what you might want to shift or tweak and doing those little energy snacks like start being playful and curious like what gives you energy, not just how are you depleted, but like what gives you that little boost? What do you do?
Sonya Stattmann: 37:33 I love that. I'm going to take that with me out of this episode. I'm going to have my energy snacks every day. I'm going to make a little list of here's my energy snacks and every day I'm going to take energy stacks. It's awesome.
Laura Shook G: 37:47 It is better than food! Energy snacks from all sorts of things!
Sonya Stattmann: 37:49 Let's do it. I love it. Alright, well thank you all for joining us and we will see you next week.