Women in the Business Arena™ EP166: Why We Over-deliver and How to Break the Habit
“A lot of people will come to me and say, ‘I don't know where the boundary is.’ And I think that's very interesting because the only person who can know where the boundary is, is you. So as I started to explore that, I realized that oftentimes we don't want to know where the boundary is. Because if we actually set the boundary we won't get that need met, right? We won't get the praise. We want the validation, we want the security, we want the love. If we set that boundary, we're going to lose that deep-seated thing that we absolutely will do anything to get. And so that's why we can't see the boundary. It's not that we don't know it. It's not that somewhere inside of us it isn't there - it's that we're just unwilling to stop the pattern.” - Sonya Stattmann
I think overdelivering is the default for many people, both in relationships and in work. In the world of work, it is common to hear the advice that you should “always overdeliver.” This is held out as a great way to impress your current and potential clients, but there is little discussion around how this impacts your energy levels or overall feelings about delivering for your clients. And I am not sure this is a great message.
I think that a lot of people use overdelivery to fulfill their needs, whether this is for love, approval, validation, or any other feeling that is lacking. And when we chase these feelings outside ourselves, we can set ourselves up in a difficult cycle of hustling and burnout.
“So much implementation for most people is about overdelivery. It's about trying to get something from someone, whether that's more money, whether that's more value, whether you don't want a customer to leave, whatever that is. It's all about trying to get something - and we do a huge disservice to ourselves.” - Sonya Stattmann
Laura and I have talked about overdelivering on the podcast before, but this time we wanted to come at the topic from a slightly different angle. We wanted to explore why we overdeliver, what we think it gets us, and why it can be so hard to break this pattern.
In this episode we are talking about why we are seeing so much overdelivery right now in particular and what is often at the root of this pattern. We also discuss boundaries and why we should deliver within our capacity, not force ourselves to abide by the world’s breakneck pace.
What You’ll Learn:
- How we can start to evaluate the ways in which we are triggered into overdelivering.
- Why you may be slipping into overdelivery, both professionally and personally, a bit more than usual right now.
- How we use overdelivery in an attempt to meet our emotional needs.
- What we can do to start unwinding our patterns of overdelivery.
- How overfunctioning and overdelivering can lead us into burnout.
- Why we need to work within our capacity and at our own pace.
Resources for this Episode:
- Not sure where to take your business next? Looking for more money, fulfillment, or freedom? Take my free, 2-minute Growth Quiz to find out where you are now & what strategies to implement to take your business where you want to go.
Come join us in the Women in the Business Arena Group on Facebook – we’d love to hear about you & your business!